One of the first lessons a politician learns is this: “To recall a voter’s name is statesmanship. To forget is oblivion,” says Roosevelt. And the ability to remember names is almost as important in business and social contacts as it is in politics.
Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France and nephew of the great Napoleon, boasted that inspite of all his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met. His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the name distinctly, he said, so “sorry. I did not get the name clearly”. Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say “How is it spelt?
During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.
If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrate on it, fixed it securely in his mind and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.
All this takes time, but, good manners said Emerson are made up of petty sacrifices. The importance of remembering and using names is not just the prerogative of kings and corporate executives. It works for all of us.
We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realise that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart, it makes him or her unique among all others.
The information we are imparting on the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Franklin O. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important, yet how many of us do it?
Invisible management is dangerously liable to workers’ rebellion. Out of sight, out of respect and obedience many workers will say of their management.
Read this illustrative story of a machine operator who was greeted by his first name – John by the managing Director (MD) of a large (8000 work force) when they met along a corridor in the plant. Denga (1996) said the effect of this greeting on John and the plant was two-fold.
- John – the machine operator felt so happy, important and close to the M.D. that he vowed ever to defend his M.D. whenever other workers would try to discredit him in any way.
- John felt so personally attached to his work schedule and to whatever he assumed would please his M.D. that his work behaviour completely changed for the better. He resolved to maximize his productivity which he imagined would definitely please the M.D. Interestingly, he and the other workers over whom he had some influence all joined hands to work extra-ordinarily hard in order to impress their M.D.
Some millionaires helped finance Admiral Byrd’s expedition to the Antarctic in 1928 with the understanding that ranges of icy mountains would be named after them and Victo Hugo aspired to have nothing less than the city of Paris renamed in his honour. Even Shakespeare, mightiest of the mighty, tried to add luster to his name by procuring a coat of arms for his family.
For many centuries, nobles and magnates supported artists, musicians and authors so that their creative work would be dedicated to them.
Libraries and museums owe heir richest collections to people who cannot bear to think that their names might perish from the memory of the race. The New York Public Library has its Aston and Lenox collections.
The Metropolitan Museum perpetuates the names of Benjamin Altman and J.P. Morgan. And nearly every church is beautified by stained-glass windows commemorating the names of their donors. Many of the buildings on the campus of most universities bear the names of donors who contributed large sums of money for this honour.
This policy of remembering and honouring the names of his friend and business associates was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegies Leadership. He was proud of the fact that he could call many of his factory workers by their first names and he boasted that while he was personally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flaming steel mills.
Karen Kirsch of Rancho Palos Verdes, California, a flight attendant for TWA, made it a practice to learn the names of as many passengers I her Cabin as possible and used the name when serving them. This resulted in many compliments on her service expressed both to her directly and to the airline. One passenger wrote: “I haven’t flown TWA for some time, but I am going to start flying, nothing but TWA from now on. You make me feel that your airline has become a very pesonalised airline and that is important to me.
People are so proud of their names that they strive to perpetuate them at any cost. Even blustering, hardboiled old P.T. Barnum, the greatest showman of his time was disappointed because he had no sons to carry on his name, he offered his grandson, C.H. Seeley $25,000 if he would call himself Barnum Seeley.
|
Indecent dressing simply means dressing in a way that is likely to shock or offend people. Now what is likely to offend people?
Pats of your body (usually sexual organs that normally should be covered, which for girls should be their breast,