According to the online encycloepedia, Wikipedia, “Patience (or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on negative annoyance, anger; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.” In fact, its antonyms include hastiness and impetuousness.  

Against the foregoing backdrop it goes to reason that when the wives of our political leaders begin to exercise patience that they would never become overzealous by beginning to meddle in functions that constitutionally fall within the purview of their husbands. This meddlesomeness that used to characterized Nigerian politics was becoming worrisome in the past political dispensations in the country until the president on assumption of office in 2015 openly expressed his disagreement over the way the role was played by former first ladies. To this end, he promised there would be a clear difference between the role played by his wife during his tenure and that played by past first ladies.   The president never hid his disdain for the unconstitutional position as he condemned the ostentatious, ubiquitous and arrogant display of activities it was characterised with. 

It is germane to opine  at this juncture that the political culture is somewhat a political taboo to Nigeria as it was  replicated  from the United States (U.S) where the use of the title, First Lady is been used  to describe the spouse of an executive.  Constitutionally in Nigeria, the office of the first lady is not recognised.  Despite its unconstitutionality and illegality, past presidents and governors in the country have exhaustively used the First ladies office to add glamour to their administrations while in power, so to say. Irrespective of its non recognition in Nigeria’s constitution, the position enjoyed public acknowledgement and some perks which attracted lots of controversies among many Nigerians.

During the Second Republics, the first lady phenomenon became a recurring factor in the political equation of the country at the time. In fact, during the time of Mariam Babangida of blessed memory, the position was occupied with pomp and pageantry. During her time, the position was, more often than not, surrounded by an atmosphere of glamour, charm and fascination .  Without any iota of exaggeration she is more often remembered for the finesse she accorded the position than being the wife of a military president. With the style she deployed in managing the position, she no doubt made it to become part of the polity.

Permit me to say that when the wives of consequent president occupied the position that they hardly measured up with the style and sophistication bequeathed to the office  by the late Mariam Babangida.

The allure and attraction that go with the office have undeniably become so powerful that there is hardly any woman in the country that would not encourage her husband to vie for the number one position in the country in order to have a taste of the office of the first Lady.

Unfortunately, the glamour that the office was characterised with seems to have been watered-down as the president has changed its adoring taxonomy to Office of the President’s wife. The trappings of the office was so alluring and charming that even wives of local council chairmen also exuded the confidence and power that the office was characterised with.

Today, the razzmatazz that goes with the office seems to have ceased. To some extent, there is reprieve, and even sanity as  to the existence of the office.

As it is today, first ladies; whether at the federal, state or local government level have to learn how to exercise patience as things have changed. They have been told in an unmistaken term  that the kitchens and the rooms belong to them. Am I being misogynistic in the foregoing context or I am alluding to what was said by those in high places?  Someone should help me because I can hardly see myself in a situation that would make me to vehemently despise or strongly be prejudiced against women.

As mentioned at the embryonic stage of this write-up and as implied by its title, wives of executives at any level of government in the country should begin to learn how to be patient. The reason for this view cannot be farfetched as it would do them a lot of good.  The virtue of patience is needed so that it would not look as if they are competing with their uxurious husbands. Without over-emphasising the fact, patience is needed so that they would not be misquoted or commit faux pas each time they grant interviews to the media, particularly foreign media. Similar to that is that granting interviews, irrespective of the circumstances that led to it, would no doubt portray such first lady in the mould of someone that is speaking on behalf of the country. It suffices to say that the personality of the first lady, if not well managed, can influence how people in other countries, particularly foreign Journalists, see the country. Simply put, their responses to questions that border on the economy or their husbands’ style of administration has a way of subjecting the nation to ridicule or otherwise.

First and foremost, they should always exercise patience in understanding the fact that their husbands were elected into political positions by the people based on the confidence reposed in them. Also, given the political antecedents of most of these politicians, the people saw them as those who may be able to fulfil their promises to them; their wives were not elected into political offices.

There is no denying the fact that  the unrestrained manner first ladies are known to have  arrogating constitutionally defined and assigned responsibilities to themselves may likely usurp the functions of technocrats and professionals in ministries, departments and agencies (MDAs) that are duly and constitutionally charged with carrying out the responsibilities the first ladies are  today meddling in. Though their intentions seem altruistic, it may become an avenue of looting public funds.

Nigerian first ladies should always exercise enough patient as it would make them understand the fact that Nigeria is operating democratic system of government. Democracy, as popularly defined, is the “government of the people, by the people and for the people.” Simply put, it is a system of government that gives people equal representation in government. It is a system of government that gives voice to the people. If I may ask, Who are the first ladies representing, and who voted them into power to be performing the functions they now arrogate to themselves? My opinion may not go down well with numerous readers but the truth must be told that first ladies do not seek our consent to be performing the mouthpiece roles they are presently performing considering the fact that nobody voted them into any elective position or appointed into any position. That their husbands occupy political positions does not automatically make them assume positions they are not entitled to. To me, under a democratic dispensation, as it is today, a first lady has the fundamental human right to tell a foreign Journalist that she has no comment on issues pertaining to how well her husband is doing politically or domestically. The reason why cautious patience should be exercise before responding to the questions posed by Journalists cannot be farfetched as every Journalist’s ambition is to distinguish himself and the news medium he represents from others. The Journalist needs a story that would make his audience to be adequately informed, educated or entertained and at the same time distinguish the medium he represents from others.

Would it not have been better for the wives of politicians that intend serving the nation in the spirit of patriotism and labour of love to do so by seeking elective positions that would constitutionally give them the various platforms to help in building the nation? Must they become the spokespersons of their husbands when there are array of politically appointed communication experts that can do that? If I may ask, how often do wives of other presidents across the globe visit Nigeria on their own and resort to telling Journalists where their husbands have done well or bad?

Even if the fact that the Office of the First Lady has been replaced with that of the Wife of the President, Wife of the Governor and Wife of the Chairman as the case may be, it is important for our politicians across the country to always call their wives to order and admonish them to always exercise patience. Politicians should always have it at the back of their minds that the people did not vote their wives into political positions. Therefore, I am urging some of our politicians to literarily clipping the wings of their husbands, albeit not as a misogynist would do, as some of our first ladies are poised to fly beyond our political horizon. That would be too bad for our democracy. We may one day wake up to hear that our constitution has been amended to make provision for first ladies to automatically become director-generals and managing directors of government agencies without due recourse to due process as specified in the laws of our nation. “This writer talks too much”. You may have thought as you read this piece. If I may ask, “Was Patience Jonathan not a Permanent Secretary or Director-General in Bayelsa State in the hey days of her husband as a President of the country?”  It would not come to me as a surprise in one of the next political dispensations if an aspiring politician decides to choose his wife as his running-mate. Without much emphasis, wives of those that are holding executive positions across the country should begin to learn how to exercise patience.

In the light of the saying that “Behind any successful man, there is a woman”, it also stands to reason that “Behind any unsuccessful man there is a woman.” For instance, there was a woman behind Muammar Ghadaffi before he met his waterloo. There was a woman behind Laurent Gbagbo. There was a woman behind Samuel Doe before he met his demise. Furthermore, in the biblical days Delilah was behind Samson’s downfall while Sarah used the power of love to compel Abraham to commit the sin of marrying his house-maid, Haggai. Jezebel caused the downfall of King Ahab. In Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Lady Macbeth caused the fall of Macbeth.

The foregoing view-point becomes necessary in this context as there is every indication that our politicians do not learn from history. Events are documented in history books for people to learn from, but not for our politicians.

Years back, a first lady in Philipines, Mrs. Imelda Marcos, was reputed to have acquired more than 2000 pairs of shoes by virtue of her husband’s political position. Her husband,  Ferdinand  Marcos ruled Philipines with an iron fist from 1966 to 1986.  It would be recalled that Nigeria’s political history has it that a former governor’s wife was found guilty and sentenced as pronounced by a Court in far away United Kingdom for a monumental fraud committed by her husband while he was the governor of an oil producing state in our nation. I believe if the former first lady was wont to carry herself in a patient disposition and had also called her husband to order, particularly without being his accomplice that they would not have found themselves in the sorry situation they found themselves.

Our politicians should be told that our nation is not a church where pastors, without the consent of other ecumenical ministers and workers, usually mandate their wives (reverently called mummies) to take over their priestly roles whenever they feel like. Today, first ladies are beginning to take over the official and constitutional responsibilities already assigned to technocrats and professionals appointed by the governments.

Finally, I would like to advise our political leaders, particularly those in the executive arm of government that they should separate love from politics which impinges on the lives of millions of people. Succinctly put, uxoriousness and politics can never go together.


Isaac Asabor, a Journalist, writes from Lagos